the art of going with the flow.

Honestly, as of lately (especially when it comes to romance) I have been trying to master the art of "going with the flow". I tend to be a super controlling person because in all other aspects of my life, honestly, I have to be. If I'm not controlling, I'll totally forget to do something.

However, there is a point where going with the flow can get you in trouble - both socially and emotionally. I really think I'm feeling more social repercussions right now (and honestly I'm fine with that. I have gotten to the point where I really don't care if people approve of me anymore.) but I'm fearing the emotional ones of my actions now. Right now - I'm fine. I'm just worried about tipping over that edge into emotional meltdown...

Luckily, it's spring break. And all the aforementioned boys have left town! As much as I adore both of them, I'm so happy to have this time to just sit back on my couch, clean my apartment, get my homework/show work done, and SLEEP, and hang out with my friends. So I suppose that going with the flow is alright for now.

I have a lot of thinking to do. Whether or not I decide to take action, I guess we'll see.
Because honestly, I will be fine no matter what. Right?

let the sunshine in!

I'm sitting here in my room getting ready to head out to my first callbacks as a big kid director, and I've opened the blinds and the sun is shining in through my window. I put on a floral scarf today, re-cut my bangs yesterday, and I'm just feeling generally very content with my life. Why?

Because I decided to be. Lately I've been doing a lot of praying, meditating, spending time with God and I feel like it has really helped me to accept and love the life I'm living right now. I'm so grateful for the friends that I have, I'm so grateful for the love and light that I have in my heart. I'm so very grateful for my family who have supported me even though I made the choice to enter a field that has so much unemployment. I am very grateful to be living HERE in Columbus on THIS DAY where I can go watch my talented friends act for me, where I can eat thin mints (though I am feeling a little guilty about that... my hips don't need them!) and make up my own recipes for tasty ways to drink my coffee in the morning. I'm grateful for the people who are here to help keep me organized.

I have felt this way since I've been in college but I really want to put this in words: I'm really happy that I live in a place that accepts me for who I am. Maybe it is the weird warp-time bubble of not being a kid and not being an adult, but being surrounded by other people who just want to truly be themselves has helped me grow into a person who wants to be just herself and not one who just wants to be what's popular or what other people conceive to be pretty. I truly feel like I CAN put on whatever I want (let's face it, I wear some strange things sometimes...) or say what I want or act like an idiot or dance on a street corner and actually feel free for once. How incredible is that?

Basically, I am just so lucky to have the life I do. And from now on, I promise to do these things: take a moment to be grateful for the life I have, don't settle for anything just because it seems like what society wants from me, enjoy the moment while I can (it only comes once), play games with my friends, connect more with my sister (because I love her.), stop worrying about how fat I think I am, laugh more, read more books. <3

the race is long - and in the end, it's only with yourself.

seventeen really awesome things.

for a little positivity, I wanted to list a random number (17) of awesome things about my life.

1. when you're actually in shape enough to stretch properly.
2. drinking OJ out of a wine glass.
3. ordering pizza and cinnamon sticks during a two hour break between class and rehearsal.
4. yoga in the morning.
5. sleeping in the same bed with someone else, and waking up late with them.
6. my cat. (enough said.)
7. my mom sending me chocolate for valentine's day.
8. doing my own nails.
9. being done with my directing analysis.
10. the snow.
11. inspiration for my crappy poetry.
12. making good grades in my classes.
13. choreographing for both crazy for you AND the theatre dance 2 class!
14. directing a one act... getting to sit in the director's seat at auditions!!
15. watching grey's with brian.
16. the moment when you finish running and plop down on the couch.
17. living where I live now, with the people who I love, doing what I really love... because hey - if I didn't love theatre, would I be going into a field with 90% unemployment?

love you kids.

things I love.

(because sometimes life is just ordinary, and there isn't much to blog about.)

1. Cosmos. Not to sound like an alcoholic, but they are a wonderful girly mix drink! And just so I don't look like an alchie, I'll include Sex on the Beach on this list within the same number as Cosmos... they are too tasty to have liquor in them. But seeing how I'm learning to make them myself, I now know just HOW MUCH goes into one... hah!
2. Meditation. Enough said.
3. The combination of legwarmers and thigh high socks and boots. Warm!
4. The fact that it is supposed to snow tonight/tomorrow/tomorrow night... in GEORGIA?! Haha, it probably won't, but the entire idea is enchanting!
5. The fact that Hard Candy Cosmetics released a (much cheaper) line for Walmart. While I'm not generally a Walmart enthusiast, I have to admit that buying foundation primer for eight dollars is so much better than saving up to buy it's Smashbox equivalent for twenty four dollars. They all work about the same anyway.
6. Wings. I'm in a phase where pretty much all I want to eat is chicken wings.
7. The other thing I crave pretty much constantly is Mexican food. Who knew?
8. Thai Dragon Fruit Febreze! Smells so good.
9. The PS. I Love You - Spring Fling scent from Bath & Body Works. I might have splurged a tiny bit the other day and got some stuff. No worries though!
10. The game, Fish World, on Facebook. Stop judging me.

<3

;)

cleaning the apartment in your underwear while watching the disney channel?
best way to clean ever.

why I win.

too perfect not to blog about.

Facebook IM from my friend, Melissa.

"oh btw. i'm playing the original oregon trail game and i tried to ford the river and garrett, ansley and corey all drowned

but you stayed alive"

=) It's the little things in life.

MY LIFE IS BIZARRE (6)

episode six: a dialogue.

(while driving in Kristin's car)
ROBIN: I am so full. I can't eat the rest of this cookie. I think I might throw it out the window.
KRISTIN: If you EVER throw a cookie out of my fucking window -
ROBIN: Did you just put the child lock on me?!