Saturday, August 21, 2010

on feeling full.

It's such a strange feeling - being so busy after being so bored for so long. This past week has been SO FULL of rehearsal, stressful new classes (all of which seem to require a million pages of reading a week!), and friends that I've missed so much.
hfjwfwj42gggggg <- this is Melissa's contribution to my blog. She's a cool girl, that Melissa.
I'm very excited because Melissa, India, and I are going to Belloo's tonight for Little Black Dress night! Two free drinks, and fun times with two of my favorite female friends =) How happy! PLUS< I get to look all cute and stuff!
Today is such a nice day in comparison to the rest of this week, because I have felt so tired all week! Today I got to sleep in, fart around at the mall, and now we're watching The Neverending Story 2 and I may even take a NAP!
I'm happy also because I had gained a lot of weight over summer, this past week I've been going to the gym a lot and I have actually lost 3 pounds! HOORAY!
I hope all is well with you =)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Impending.

School starts on Monday. It's the very last time that this will ever happen to me (pending that I attend grad school, but I highly doubt it.). I'm kind of amazed. It's such a surreal feeling, knowing that in less than a year I will be a "real" adult. Strange, isn't it?

I'm really excited about the school year starting though. I'm excited to start working on Aesop's Fables too! Two of my lovely roommates are working on Spelling Bee right now and I'm so jealous because I want to be starting rehearsals too! Haha, it's funny how you crave for time off but once you have it, you're desperate for it to end.

At either rate, I really think doing tour will be a very good experience for me. It will make me more adaptable, I think. And force me to go to bed earlier. Haha, no for real. I'm stoked.

What I am not stoked about is my American Government class... le sigh.

A lot of my friends will be back in town tomorrow =) For this, I feel a lot of joy.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

eclectically speaking.

There is a cat that lives at my parents' condo. It's technically my younger sister's cat, but she hasn't been home in two years, so I'll count it as my parental units' cat. It's name is Bright Eyes, but I've always called it "Worm" (Did you read The Witches of Worm as a child? I did! And let me tell you, I was scarred for life.) or even more commonly, "Psycho Kitty". What is wrong with this cat? I have no idea. It literally hates me. Even though I am quite loving when it comes to cats! I have a cat, if you don't know (which, if you're my friend, you should know, but if you didn't...) named Hepcat. This cat, however, decides to stare at me from down the hallway until I decide to stare back, and then? It runs away. No real explanation at all.

I am baffled by this behavior.

I have a Blackberry Curve, but I still am more than a little dependent on a day planner to write down all my appointments. I recently purchased a pink one and I'm moderately obsessed with it.

I wish people appreciated the value of the joy that glitter can bring, instead of feeling responsible all the time.

My family drinks a lot of boxed wine. I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty obsessed with it myself. How delightful to be able to have just one more glass after dinner without worrying about the bottle, etc.

It hurts my feelings when people decide that my friendship is not worthwhile. It's happened twice, perhaps three times (though I'm sure that this person is going through a phase right now. he and I have phases.) just this summer. I'm a devoted friend. Maybe I'm not always immediately there, or available for hanging out, but I love my friends fiercely. There was a time that I would have called one of these people I feel that I've lost my best friend, but I'm starting to see that she hasn't considered me to be her best friend in a very long time. It's such a hard thing, letting go of friends. It's not like when you lose a lover - it's so easy to be mad about that, or to understand why they wanted out. But friends? I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just too loyal about these things. Maybe I'm just deluded. I realize that this part of my rant makes about zero sense but I'm kind of just unleashing here. Is there some big cosmic chart that keeps track of points between people that I am unaware of? Is it bad that I put my studies, and therefore my craft before everything else? Is it possible that I'm unable to connect? I'm so frustrated sometimes because it feels like I talk and talk and talk but I never really truly say anything, and the number of people who really understand me are becoming so very few.

On the flipside of that, I have made some wonderful NEW friends (and reinforced some old ones) in the past several weeks. Spending time with them has really brought me such joy. I only wish that I would have hours every day to spend with them once school begins. The joy of summer can never last forever, but I will always remember these people, who helped make one of my shittiest summers end so wonderfully.

I really love coffee. It's delightful, delicious, and delovely. I don't know if I could actually wake up if not for it. And on the plus side, I saw on television the other day that caffeine doesn't actually de-hydrate you. I've been really worried about dehydration lately, because I think it's one of my biggest health risks, considering that I'd much rather any other beverage than water a lot of the time. Don't get me wrong, I love water,but I also love, juice, coke, wine, beer, mix drinks, etc.... Just not milk. But anyway, the point is that I'm becoming one of those adult type people who brews a pot of coffee in the mornings and really really really relishes in drinking it.

There aren't words to express how excited I am about starting back school, on that note. While I know that life will become really very stressful ALL OVER AGAIN... it's my last school year. Pretty much ever. And I'm excited to start working on theatre related things again, and really feeling like I'm a part of something bigger than myself. Not just the department - but the entire art of theatre.

It's so strange to think how much it's changed me. I guess that's a weird thought, but if something's ever changed you as much as theatre has changed me... then you'd understand. It moves me, it expresses me, it pushes me to do things, it challenges me, it makes me think... it's really everything. I know that sounds stupid and idealistic, but a part of me will always be in love with it. In absolute love.

I'm really enjoying The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I want my own copy. In fact, I may buy one tomorrow, just so I can takes notes in it.

I really want some dark chocolate to go with this red wine.

and eclectically speaking, I'm doing quite well.