I'm sitting here in my room getting ready to head out to my first callbacks as a big kid director, and I've opened the blinds and the sun is shining in through my window. I put on a floral scarf today, re-cut my bangs yesterday, and I'm just feeling generally very content with my life. Why?
Because I decided to be. Lately I've been doing a lot of praying, meditating, spending time with God and I feel like it has really helped me to accept and love the life I'm living right now. I'm so grateful for the friends that I have, I'm so grateful for the love and light that I have in my heart. I'm so very grateful for my family who have supported me even though I made the choice to enter a field that has so much unemployment. I am very grateful to be living HERE in Columbus on THIS DAY where I can go watch my talented friends act for me, where I can eat thin mints (though I am feeling a little guilty about that... my hips don't need them!) and make up my own recipes for tasty ways to drink my coffee in the morning. I'm grateful for the people who are here to help keep me organized.
I have felt this way since I've been in college but I really want to put this in words: I'm really happy that I live in a place that accepts me for who I am. Maybe it is the weird warp-time bubble of not being a kid and not being an adult, but being surrounded by other people who just want to truly be themselves has helped me grow into a person who wants to be just herself and not one who just wants to be what's popular or what other people conceive to be pretty. I truly feel like I CAN put on whatever I want (let's face it, I wear some strange things sometimes...) or say what I want or act like an idiot or dance on a street corner and actually feel free for once. How incredible is that?
Basically, I am just so lucky to have the life I do. And from now on, I promise to do these things: take a moment to be grateful for the life I have, don't settle for anything just because it seems like what society wants from me, enjoy the moment while I can (it only comes once), play games with my friends, connect more with my sister (because I love her.), stop worrying about how fat I think I am, laugh more, read more books. <3
the race is long - and in the end, it's only with yourself.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
seventeen really awesome things.
for a little positivity, I wanted to list a random number (17) of awesome things about my life.
1. when you're actually in shape enough to stretch properly.
2. drinking OJ out of a wine glass.
3. ordering pizza and cinnamon sticks during a two hour break between class and rehearsal.
4. yoga in the morning.
5. sleeping in the same bed with someone else, and waking up late with them.
6. my cat. (enough said.)
7. my mom sending me chocolate for valentine's day.
8. doing my own nails.
9. being done with my directing analysis.
10. the snow.
11. inspiration for my crappy poetry.
12. making good grades in my classes.
13. choreographing for both crazy for you AND the theatre dance 2 class!
14. directing a one act... getting to sit in the director's seat at auditions!!
15. watching grey's with brian.
16. the moment when you finish running and plop down on the couch.
17. living where I live now, with the people who I love, doing what I really love... because hey - if I didn't love theatre, would I be going into a field with 90% unemployment?
love you kids.
1. when you're actually in shape enough to stretch properly.
2. drinking OJ out of a wine glass.
3. ordering pizza and cinnamon sticks during a two hour break between class and rehearsal.
4. yoga in the morning.
5. sleeping in the same bed with someone else, and waking up late with them.
6. my cat. (enough said.)
7. my mom sending me chocolate for valentine's day.
8. doing my own nails.
9. being done with my directing analysis.
10. the snow.
11. inspiration for my crappy poetry.
12. making good grades in my classes.
13. choreographing for both crazy for you AND the theatre dance 2 class!
14. directing a one act... getting to sit in the director's seat at auditions!!
15. watching grey's with brian.
16. the moment when you finish running and plop down on the couch.
17. living where I live now, with the people who I love, doing what I really love... because hey - if I didn't love theatre, would I be going into a field with 90% unemployment?
love you kids.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
things I love.
(because sometimes life is just ordinary, and there isn't much to blog about.)
1. Cosmos. Not to sound like an alcoholic, but they are a wonderful girly mix drink! And just so I don't look like an alchie, I'll include Sex on the Beach on this list within the same number as Cosmos... they are too tasty to have liquor in them. But seeing how I'm learning to make them myself, I now know just HOW MUCH goes into one... hah!
2. Meditation. Enough said.
3. The combination of legwarmers and thigh high socks and boots. Warm!
4. The fact that it is supposed to snow tonight/tomorrow/tomorrow night... in GEORGIA?! Haha, it probably won't, but the entire idea is enchanting!
5. The fact that Hard Candy Cosmetics released a (much cheaper) line for Walmart. While I'm not generally a Walmart enthusiast, I have to admit that buying foundation primer for eight dollars is so much better than saving up to buy it's Smashbox equivalent for twenty four dollars. They all work about the same anyway.
6. Wings. I'm in a phase where pretty much all I want to eat is chicken wings.
7. The other thing I crave pretty much constantly is Mexican food. Who knew?
8. Thai Dragon Fruit Febreze! Smells so good.
9. The PS. I Love You - Spring Fling scent from Bath & Body Works. I might have splurged a tiny bit the other day and got some stuff. No worries though!
10. The game, Fish World, on Facebook. Stop judging me.
<3
1. Cosmos. Not to sound like an alcoholic, but they are a wonderful girly mix drink! And just so I don't look like an alchie, I'll include Sex on the Beach on this list within the same number as Cosmos... they are too tasty to have liquor in them. But seeing how I'm learning to make them myself, I now know just HOW MUCH goes into one... hah!
2. Meditation. Enough said.
3. The combination of legwarmers and thigh high socks and boots. Warm!
4. The fact that it is supposed to snow tonight/tomorrow/tomorrow night... in GEORGIA?! Haha, it probably won't, but the entire idea is enchanting!
5. The fact that Hard Candy Cosmetics released a (much cheaper) line for Walmart. While I'm not generally a Walmart enthusiast, I have to admit that buying foundation primer for eight dollars is so much better than saving up to buy it's Smashbox equivalent for twenty four dollars. They all work about the same anyway.
6. Wings. I'm in a phase where pretty much all I want to eat is chicken wings.
7. The other thing I crave pretty much constantly is Mexican food. Who knew?
8. Thai Dragon Fruit Febreze! Smells so good.
9. The PS. I Love You - Spring Fling scent from Bath & Body Works. I might have splurged a tiny bit the other day and got some stuff. No worries though!
10. The game, Fish World, on Facebook. Stop judging me.
<3
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
;)
cleaning the apartment in your underwear while watching the disney channel?
best way to clean ever.
best way to clean ever.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
why I win.
too perfect not to blog about.
Facebook IM from my friend, Melissa.
"oh btw. i'm playing the original oregon trail game and i tried to ford the river and garrett, ansley and corey all drowned
Facebook IM from my friend, Melissa.
"oh btw. i'm playing the original oregon trail game and i tried to ford the river and garrett, ansley and corey all drowned
but you stayed alive"
=) It's the little things in life.
MY LIFE IS BIZARRE (6)
episode six: a dialogue.
(while driving in Kristin's car)
ROBIN: I am so full. I can't eat the rest of this cookie. I think I might throw it out the window.
KRISTIN: If you EVER throw a cookie out of my fucking window -
ROBIN: Did you just put the child lock on me?!
(while driving in Kristin's car)
ROBIN: I am so full. I can't eat the rest of this cookie. I think I might throw it out the window.
KRISTIN: If you EVER throw a cookie out of my fucking window -
ROBIN: Did you just put the child lock on me?!
Monday, February 1, 2010
fierce with reality.
1. I've started meditating. I'm pretty sure it's good for my soul. At least it helps me to feel very peaceful when I generally don't feel that way at all.
2. I've started writing poetry again, not all of which is sad. It's so much easier to express myself now. I don't want to say "maybe it's the meditation" but maybe it is. Maybe it's the lack of "clutter" of romance in my life. I can't say that I don't have feelings for any one person, because that would just be a lie and a half but I can say that I'm truly content with the way things are right now.
3. I've given up coke. I'm pretty proud of it. (though I do admit that every now and then I get a craving and I buy one. but it's only about three in a week instead of six in a day. drastic change.)
4. I am losing weight. I look in the mirror, and I feel better about myself. This is progress.
5. I'm trying to be cleaner, and it's really helping. I've also started actually purchasing REAL SIMPLE magazine, which is something I've been wanting to do for months. I plan on testing out one of the recipes this week.
6. Crazy for You is going well thus far, I'm tired, my body hurts, I am grateful for this week off of rehearsal. Just to recoup.
7. Taking Garrett (and James) to get their hair cut tomorrow. Interesting how I'm not dreading it or looking forward to it. Just sort of... coasting, I guess.
8. Spoon River made me cry in Meisner today. I have a feeling this will be a continued situation. I love when that happens. (Sort of.) (Except that while it is truthful, it's horribly embarrassing.)
9. I feel like people have been questioning me lately because I haven't sought them out for "hang out time". It's not that I don't want to hang out, I just pretty much dedicate most of my time to A) Working out, B) Rehearsal, C) Class, D) My analysis, or E) Sleeping. I try to fit some other things in, but it's difficult! I swear I'm not angry or upset with anyone. I just need to focus on other things right now than my social life.
10. Life is pretty good, really. This semester is going to shape up to be a busy one, but I foresee wonderful things to come.
2. I've started writing poetry again, not all of which is sad. It's so much easier to express myself now. I don't want to say "maybe it's the meditation" but maybe it is. Maybe it's the lack of "clutter" of romance in my life. I can't say that I don't have feelings for any one person, because that would just be a lie and a half but I can say that I'm truly content with the way things are right now.
3. I've given up coke. I'm pretty proud of it. (though I do admit that every now and then I get a craving and I buy one. but it's only about three in a week instead of six in a day. drastic change.)
4. I am losing weight. I look in the mirror, and I feel better about myself. This is progress.
5. I'm trying to be cleaner, and it's really helping. I've also started actually purchasing REAL SIMPLE magazine, which is something I've been wanting to do for months. I plan on testing out one of the recipes this week.
6. Crazy for You is going well thus far, I'm tired, my body hurts, I am grateful for this week off of rehearsal. Just to recoup.
7. Taking Garrett (and James) to get their hair cut tomorrow. Interesting how I'm not dreading it or looking forward to it. Just sort of... coasting, I guess.
8. Spoon River made me cry in Meisner today. I have a feeling this will be a continued situation. I love when that happens. (Sort of.) (Except that while it is truthful, it's horribly embarrassing.)
9. I feel like people have been questioning me lately because I haven't sought them out for "hang out time". It's not that I don't want to hang out, I just pretty much dedicate most of my time to A) Working out, B) Rehearsal, C) Class, D) My analysis, or E) Sleeping. I try to fit some other things in, but it's difficult! I swear I'm not angry or upset with anyone. I just need to focus on other things right now than my social life.
10. Life is pretty good, really. This semester is going to shape up to be a busy one, but I foresee wonderful things to come.
“You need to claim the events of your life to make yourself yours. When you truly possess all that you have been and done, which may take some time, you are fierce with reality.”
Florida Scott Maxwell
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