I can't wait to go to the beach!

So today, I randomly was surfing oldnavy.com when I realized something - their amazing swimsuits are coming out!

This year, I'm vowing to A) work out. I've done alright thus far this semester, but I just don't want to feel like a lard. and B) buy a new cute bikini!

I really can't wait to go to the beach this summer/spring break! I just am really wanting to spend a lot of time in the water when the warm weather invariably comes.

This is actually the one I want, and the separates are a mere $16.50!

I really really like it.

Pretty much, I think it's cute [=

ps. you're pretty cool.

Helpful Hints for a Broke Shopaholic!

so because I wanted to update my blog, and I didn't really have anything to write about that wouldn't be so obnoxiously, "I'm so happy blah blah" or "I'm so stressed blah blah" and I don't want to complain about my problems, I decided to write about something that I'm good at, and give a few pointers!

I'm a shopaholic. I have been for quite some time now, and one must know that since we shopaholics don't always have the most money - it's important to know how to make the most of your buck! I just wanted to write a blog that points out some of my favorite ways to get cute clothes for a much more reasonable price! So here are some helpful pointers!

Helpful Hints for a Broke Shopaholic!

1. Decide how much money you want to spend BEFORE you leave! This seems like an easy enough tip, but I wish I followed it more often! If you want to go shopping and get a little retail therapy in, don't go overboard should be the number one rule, obviously! Decide before you leave for your shopping excursion how much dough you're willing to shell out on unnecessary items, and take a trip to the ATM. This may seem over extravagant to some of you who don't have the same bad shopping habits as me - but the best thing I've ever learned to do is to go to the ATM and take ou the twenty or fourty dollars I decide I can afford to spend and leave my debit card at home! This eliminates the temptation to overspend and will help you not to buy extraneous items past your price range!

2. Learn to associate yourself with the clearance rack. I KNOW that it's impossible to ignore the beautiful displays in store windows - or to resist the urge to buy everything on the mannequins! But the sales and clearance racks of stores are probably still selling weather appropriate clothing for a better price than it was a month or two ago! My advice about the clearance rack though? Don't buy anything TOO trendy on clearance. It may go out of style, and you might feel like your fifteen dollars was wasted. Be sure that you buy some classic peices, such as this really cute GAP wrap sweater my sister got a few weeks ago for a mere twelve dollars:

As you can see, the clearance rack is a great place to pick up cute items for a mere fraction of the price. And remember - stores always change seasons a month or two early to be ahead of the game, so it's not as if you will only find sweaters on clearance during the summer!

3. Try a "bargain" store. I KNOW, generally, buying your clothes from Wal-mart was unnacceptable in middle and high school. But let's face it - if the clothes fit well and look good, who has to know what the tag is? While I don't personally recomend Wal-mart for all your style needs. I absolutely love Target for great cooky items and accessories. I once bought four pairs of opaque tights (really trendy lately!) for two dollars a pair there. Wonderous! Also, they tend to bring in "designer" lines, and frequently these lines are really cute and stylish at a FRACTION of the cost of say, an Abercrombie top. Another great place I'd recomend to shop at is TJ Maxx - but I warn you, you'll have to dig through a whole lot of ugly before you find a gem! I've found a lot of cute and unique looking items at TJ Maxx, and they usually have an AWESOME collection of handbags and shoes. Also, TJ Maxx carries cosmetics, and I once purchased a Stila eyeshadow pallette there for five dollars. Other stores much like TJ Maxx (though TJ is my favorite!) include Ross: Dress for Less and Marshall's. Bargain stores are great places to pick up cooky new items to add to your wardrobe, like accessories and little jackets.

4. Pear down your wardrobe. If you are as bad as me, you probably don't even touch more than half of your clothes. GET RID OF THEM. If they are old, have holes, just don't look good anymore or for any reason are just no longer functioning as an active part of your wardrobe - GET RID OF IT. Keeping old clothes only takes up space and makes your wardrobe unmanagable. Personally, I like to go through my clothes, pick out what I don't want anymore, then separate out what is "designer" or "brand name" and in good condition and take those to Plato's Closet (see below) and then donate the rest of the clothes (if they are still in decent shape) to a place like Goodwill or Salvation Army.

5. Find a great second hand store! As I mentioned above, I really like to sell my "gently used teen brand name clothes" to my local Plato's Closet. If you've never heard of Plato's Closet, or you're too good to wear other people's clothes, then BOY are you missing out! Plato's is a place where you can take your extranneous clothing, sell it (though they won't pay you face value, your stuff IS used you know!), and get straight up cash for clothes you don't wear anymore! How sweet is that? Not only that, but all of the clothes they have are gently used and for the most part, are as good as if you'd only owned them for a month or so. Thumbing through their clothing can prove very fruitful - you'll find items that are not on the racks at stores anymore for literally under ten dollars. Jeans tend to run from ten to twenty five dollars, and that includes some of the more popular brands like GAP, Express, A&F, Hollister, American Eagle, and Seven7. Incredible deals!

6. Develop Your Own Sense of Style. This seems like a given to me - but maybe it's because I tend to dress fairly cooky. Figure out what you like and what you don't like in fashion! If you always look like the latest Abercrombie mannequin, you are probably paying as much as those items cost at face value! Also, you probably haven't put much thought into your look. I'm not dissing the preppy Abercrombie look, I'm just saying that there are other ways to acheive it! There is a great article on CollegeFashion.Net called "Fashion Beyond Abercrombie and Fitch (or How To Develop Your Own Style)" that basically sums this up. You waste money being the "latest" when you really are just mimicking what you THINK is what's in right now. (I also seriously recomend you read the rest of her blog, it's great!)

7. Realize which items are worth the splurge. This is a biggie! You need to realize which items are worth spending a little extra cash on instead of waiting for them to go on sale. In general, basic items such as suits (for job interviews), dresses, and anything you would want to wear to a special occasion can be bought for full price. A lot of the time finding any of these items that fits perfectly is near to impossible, so when you find the perfect item it's always wise to go ahead and purchase it.

8. AVOID RETAIL. Biggest tip ever - if you are truly broke, which a lot of the time I am, AVOID AVOID AVOID all situations which may tempt you to spend any sort of money. Don't even go out to eat. Just stay at home, eat your own groceries, and find ways to entertain yourself for free. It's difficult but sometimes the only way I get from week to week!

Stores where I tend to find cheap and cute things: Charlotte Russe, Forever 21, Rue 21, Ross, Marshall's, TJ Maxx, Old Navy, Plato's Closet, Claire's, The Icing.

Stores that have GREAT clearance racks: the GAP, Express, Journey's, New York and Company, Anne Taylor Loft, Macy's

My SPLURGE places: Banana Republic (<3),>

-----

I know this blog was random, but I enjoyed writing it [= oh, and for the record - yes, I am ridiculous happy. and yes, I am ridiculously stressed.

somewhere inbetween. but I'm glad you make me smile so much. I was so tired of crying all the time. [=

we're after that same rainbow's end.

two drifters off to see the world
there's such a lot of world to see
we're after that same rainbow's end

waiting 'round the bend

my huckleberry friend,

moon river and me.

I'm mild to moderately obsessed with the Breakfast at Tiffany's soundtrack.

so I've been meaning to say this -

there's this cute boy, and he makes me smile a lot. and I'm really glad that I'm in like with him. [=

other than that, life is work and art and food. but we all know I love all those things. [=

choreography is still a heaven-sent calling for me, by the way.

sorry this blog is very one-lined.

I just really am quite happy, and not all that wordy lately.

all I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves.

Well. Since my body decided that instead of waking up at eight, I was going to be up at seven (after only a mere four hours of sleep! QUESITONABLE), I figured it was a great time to blog.

I feel like I'm keeping this little secret inside of me. And it's like this - it's not even that big of a deal! I just am feeling ACTUALLY happy right now, and even though I'm going to be MISERABLE in stage movement in two hours or so, and even though it's not how I expected my life would be, I'm pretty much content, if not really just happy. [= obviously, I'll elaborate later.

Haha, I can just go back to bed after stage movement, let's be real. Or just seriously caffeinate myself. I think both are going to happen. HELLO FOUNTAIN CITY! [=

Lately I've been thinking a lot about fashion (you can probably tell that from my earlier blogs!) and I've been trying to put a finger on what my fashion style is. Like for instance: yesterday, I wore a flowy flapper-style tank top with a cheetah print cardigan and a bright pink and orange scarf. I'm starting to think that my style is just ECCLECTIC. But you know - that's okay! I can wear cowboy boots with bright tights if I want to - and no one can really tell me different until I get out of college or my body betrays me. Whichever comes first, haha.

I'll probably write a more intelligible blog later, but for now, I'll leave you with this:

[=

so just be gentle with me.

so just be gentle with me

(I'm not as young as I was)

and I'll be gentle with you

(I'm not as brave as I thought)

because my heart gets broken so easily,

so just be gentle, be gentle, be gentle, be gentle with me.

life is weird. quirky, strange, unfathomable, eternally unpredictable, and pretty much just weird.

or maybe, that's just my life. I feel like every day it gets stranger and stranger, but I'm pretty happy, all in all.

I think that coming to terms with who I am, physically, emotionally, just by myself is really helping me be happy. I'm trying so hard not to please everyone, but to please myself. I know that sounds selfish, but I think it's the only way that I can finally be happier than I've been in the past. I can't stretch myself so thin that I fall apart again - I absolutely refuse!

In other news, I love choreography. I think my sense of fulfillment is outpouring into the rest of my life, and people seem to be more attracted to fulfilled and happy Robin than they did to stretched-too-thin, pleasing the rest of the world Robin. Hm - what a conclusion!

Another thought - I want a boyfriend. I KNOW. It's like this - I am strong, I know I'm a great person on my own. And I know that if I set my mind to anything in the world, I could probably acheive it BY MYSELF but I can't ignore the whiney inner me that is desperate for some male attention. I wish I could squash this pathetic inner self so that I could just move on with my life without the ache for something "more". Sometimes I think I've been missing out on something because I rarely am able to convince myself that dating is something that fits in with my lifestyle - but I'm starting to think I need to reevaluate the way I feel about it. LE SIGH. At least, I can say, life is weird. Maybe things will start to look up in this category.

Other thoughts to think on - it's been really effing cold outside for the past few days! WHY! I feel like if it would just SNOW or even ICE over, I would be more able to accept the cold as a fact of life, but since it's just illogically freezing, I'm not really sure how I feel about the whole concept, to be honest!

I just wish Georgia would make its mind up about the weather.

Classes are going well, I think. Not any worse than ever before, at least. And no real tragedies have happened thus far this semester, so I think I can count it as a success.

Basically, that's my life right now. Hey - I never said it was interesting.

this is the first day of my life.

I'm somewhere between really happy and really stressed.

We've been working on Situations for the past two days, and I would be remiss not to mention how happy it makes me. I love choreography. I love teaching dance. I just... I don't know, I love it! The peice is still a little sloppy, but in two two hour sessions, we got the entire first number choreographed and learnt. And I must say that it is really cute and creative. I'm really excited to be working with all the people I'm working with, and I'm excited to be doing this different kind of work, in comparison to just acting.

But also with that happy excitedness comes the stress! I HAVE 13 NUMBERS TO CHOREOGRAPH AND PERFECT BY MARCH 23RD. STRESSSS. Haha, I can do it though.

Other parts of my life are pretty good too. I'm mainly focusing on this right now because it's a lot of work specifically for me, to choreograph and then teach the dance to everyone. I'm hanging out with some different people this semester, and I'm making a vow to be more social in different groups, because I think that's how you get frustrated with you friends - when you spend too much time with them.

you make me smile with my heart ♥

At either rate, life is pretty good. Just going day by day, I suppose.

love is the answer...

...at least, for most of the questions in my heart.
like, "why are we here?" and "where do we go?" and "how come it's so hard?"

I think it'd be easier to just list what's going on in my life:

• The first week of class! I only have one more meeting of Stage Movement tomorrow, and then it's over! WOW. I'm excited about this semester! I really never had much zeal for learning in high school, but I think theatre classes always intrigue me, especially when they focus on some of my favorite parts of theatre.
• In acting class today, it was so strange! Not only were there strange excercizes where people drew with their feet (coughTAYLORcough) but also, Larry had April just ARRIVE in the middle of me and Carrie's excercize and neither of us knew it was going to happen. I was just so confused! Haha, it was interesting though and it really did throw me off.
• I work in the box office at school now - it's pretty cool, considering that selling tickets is actually pretty easy, so I basically get paid to sit in the office, play on facebook and sell tickets. wonderful!
• I'm making a lifestyle change - I'm attempting (key word) to give up coca cola, slowly. I had two today, which is worse than I've done in only having one each day this week. If you didn't know, I had a bad coca cola problem last semester - I was going through three twelve packs in a week! So cutting back is difficult. Also, I've worked out twice this week and I'm trying to keep up with that.
• I'm startin rehearsals for my freestage on Sunday! I would be remiss to say I wasn't super psyched about that. I love choreography and I really hope everything works out well.
• I'm feeling, in general, not necessarily today, a lot more free in life. I'm trying NOT to let things weigh me down, and for the most part I've done a pretty good job of just worrying about myself and not letting other people's petty problems with eachother make me miserable. If that seems heartless, I'm sorry. I have done enough empathizing and fretting over people who do not care about me to last me a lifetime. I don't mean to be cruel, and I'm not trying to say that I'm writing off friends or anything, because I'm not. I'm just not going to feel guilty when I say that I can't hang out because I'm tired or I want to read or I want to just hang out in housing or by myself even! (Please do not read into this! I'm just making a choice not to live on a personal guilt trip anymore! I'm not upset with anyone and I don't want to cause waves with my blog, so don't think it's about you - it's not, I promise!)
• I've become increasingly obsessed with shopping! I love to find bargains - for example, I got a sweater from the gap for 12 dollars yesterday! And online shopping is addictive! I just bought a bunch of stuff from E.L.F. (Megan sent me an email with the link randomly) and now I want to buy stuff online from Forever 21! BAHHH. I think this is the most stereotypical girl thing about me - the shopping.
• I'm reading another Philippa Gregory novel - The Wise Woman. I'm enjoying it thus far, but I am always captivated by her writing!

That's about it! I just wanted to update!

there's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm.

So it's all starting again. Welcome to my life. Today was the first day of classes for the Spring 09 semester, and I'd be remiss to say I wasn't totally happy to be back to the daily grind. I hate to admit it, but doing nothing really does weigh me down.

Being back in Columbus seems to have inserted fresh life into my soul. I feel happier already - I'm full of confidence about the coming semester, and I can't wait for everything to get underway. I know that not everything in my life is perfect, but I can see the good things now. [=

I'm happy to say that I now work in the box office here at CSU for le moneyz. I'm thrilled, haha. Also, I'm starting to feel freer. I'm giving up Coca-Cola, slowly. I really want to become one of those people who just drinks it at a restaraunt or maybe one of those people who doesn't like it at all! At this point, I think I could give it up if I didn't need the caffeine. Which is sad, but true. I just don't want to go through caffeine withdrawals. ERGH.

Let's keep up with some resolutions: I'm doing better with not feeling guilty for no reason. I'm doing better about eating healthy and drinking less soda (yay me!), and I'm doing okay on the "getting dressed every day" aspect too. but of course, it's only the twelfth day of the year.

I'm feeling surprisingly social lately, for someone who spent most of the end of first semester alone in my apartment. [=

Here is something I've just been needing to say for the past few days:

I'm not over it. I'm scared that I never will be. I'm so close to being over it and I read some stupid message from OVER a year ago and it just says "I miss you." and I just REMEMBER all these stupid things. And honestly - I didn't even like him as a person, so how is it possible that I'm not over him?! I'm scared to think that I really honestly loved him, because it's such a ridiculous notion. How could I? He dated my sister. He encouraged me to do things I'd never reasonably do. He hurt me.

I don't like to think that I loved him. But I think it's equally terrifying to think that it's something about MY personality that disallows me to get over it. Is there something about how he showed me that I was so destructable that keeps me from getting over it? I just feel like I can't remember feeling like I was indestructable. I just don't know how to get over it. It's not HIM that I want back or anything about it. It's just that I want to feel like I could just give myself over to someone. I want to feel like love is something I could feel for someone again. I'm not sure. I'm waiting for someone to come along who doesn't expect anything of me. I am waiting for it to be right. Maybe that's asking too much, but I feel like maybe that's better than trying and trying and trying to make something work when a part of me is fundamentally not able to invest myself into the situation. (BLOG 15 NOVEMBER 2008)

I just wanted to ammend this remark. I'm over you. I am FINALLY over you, and I couldn't be happier. And if I can let a silly little boy  make me smile again, and not even think about how he reminds me of you - then it's a step in the right direction. And you know what? I was always too good for you. I wish you the best, but I am so glad you are out of my life! I am just angry that it took me this long to rid myself of your scent and your stupid presence.

Just had to get that off my chest.

Alas, the dishes are beckoning to me!

fashionspiration!

So, browsing the internet today, I came across a wonderful website that I had no idea existed! It's called CollegeFashion.net (HERE). It features a bazillion articles, including "how to wear cowboy boots" (one of my absolute favorite fashion items lately!) and even an article about why you shouldn't wear sweats to class! (After this past semester, this is one of my new resolutions - stop doing it! I only did it this semester in Acting class because I had pilates right before, but I was beginning to feel like such a slob!). I feel like she might have actually tapped my brain on some of these articles though, lol.

Lately, I have been jonesing for a pair of what my sister calls "Miley Cyrus Boots". She just got a pair of magenta pink ones, and I feel like they would be so cute with tights or even over straight legged jeans. Like these:

Hm. perhaps a purchase that should be made soon? If I can find a fairly cheap pair, that is. At either rate, I've been feeling very much into my whole sense of style lately. Janine also introduced me to a new makeup product which I now love as well! It's Urban Decay's Eyeshadow Primer Potion. When I read about it on her blog, I thought to myself - I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM WITH CREASY EYESHADOW. I guess it's just my greasy eyelids. At either rate, it's a great makeup product!

Other things I'm madly in love with: DiorShow Mascara. Right now, I have a tube of DiorShow Blackout Mascara, because apparently Sephora was out of stock on regular when my sister bought it for me for Christmas, but I like it just as well. My Stila eyeshadow pallete. This was probably the best bang for my buck purchase ever, since I got it for three dollars at TJ Maxx! It's a great brown eyeshadow pallete, and considering that I wear brown eyeshadow on a day to day basis,  it's a great thing to have! Also, I recently purchased a 1/4 inch barrel Bed Head curling iron. It's probably one o fthe nicest hair accesories I've ever had, so I'm glad I bought it.

Haha, I know this is probably the mots materialistic blog I've ever written, but I feel inspired by things like this lately.

I made another purchase (with the help of my mother) that I really love. I bought a pair of moccasins from Journey's. They are so comfortable and a cuter alternative to my obsession with my dark brown Sperry's. While I love my Sperry's, they look awful with some pairs of jeans and skirts and shorts. And while I'm usually a cute shoe enthusiast, sometimes one cannot argue with the concept of comfort, especially when headed to class.

At either rate, I'm turning over a new fashion leaf. I'm going to wear whatever I want - and remember that everyone makes fashion mistakes! But I think that now is the only time I can dress however I want and get away with it, so I might as well take advantage of it while I can!

I'm headed back to Columbus tomorrow, and I have so much laundry/cleaning to do tonight. Oh, life.

<3

EDIT: I know that in my New Years Resolution Blog, I said I wanted to lose 15 lbs. Upon further thoughts, I merely want to excercize more, feel healthier, and perhaps get my hourglass figure back. I'm starting to feel like a square lately. As Anna's facebook status said, "Curvy and toned is the new thin!"

the call.

just because everything's changing

doesn't mean it's never been this way before

all you can do is try to know who your friends are

as you head off to the war

pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light

you'll come back when it's over

no need to say goodbye.

There aren't words that can explain how much I love this song ("The Call" by Regina Spektor, featured in the film version of Prince Caspian). I guess it just describes the way I feel about life, and my figurative Narnia - where I can escape and just feel the magic and the true happiness of the world.

I leave on Thursday to head back to the second semester of my sophomore year. I'm excited/nervous/antsy about it. I'm excited because I love Columbus, I love theatre, I love choreography, etc. I'm nervous because I'm scared scheduling won't work out, and I'm antsy because I'm always antsy!

I went to the mall today and got some eyeshadow primer, yayy. Also, I cooked dinner for my mom and sister. Hopefully I'll wake up before 1:30 tomorrow and be able to enjoy the day more!

Loveyoukids.

and why do the tears well up in your eyes?

And so it comes to a close - the final holiday at my house in Martinez.

For some strange reason, I can't seem to sleep very well lately. I haven't gotten more than five hours of sleep at a time in the past week, and I think it's starting to weigh on my temper. Maybe its me subconciously knowing that I really don't have time to relax. I hate that about myself - I always feel like I could be doing something productive, instead of relaxing. Even when I need it.

Like one day earlier this week, this is what I did: I woke up after about five hours of good sleep, watched a What Not to Wear marathon (at some point Cory came over and I ran lines with him for his understudy part in Cripple), we went out to dinner at TakoSushi (so good), came home and started watching a Law and Order: SVU marathon. At one point, it was an episode we'd both seen so we went and bought candy at Walgreens, came back and watched some more until 3AM when I kicked him out of my house lol.

All in all, it was a GOOD day. I relaxed, I enjoyed myself, etc. But I still felt like I should have DONE something with the day. I don't know. I just wish I knew how to relax.

I find it so completely frustrating.

Which I suppose is why I'm ready for the semester to start - the uncertainty of scheduling is starting to stress me out. The amount of work on my plate makes my brain spin.

Other than that, I suppose I need to make another New Years resolution: I need to stop feeling guilty.

Let me elaborate: I need alone time. I have come to realize that I probably need more alone time than most people do. I need time to think, and I need time to relax, because obviously I am pretty much incapable of it the way I am going! I need to stop feeling guilty for not hanging out with everyone all the time. I always feel like I should do everything that everyone asks me to, but it isn't always good for me. I guess I need to learn to say no without feeling guilty or giving in, is what I mean.

Moreover, I need to stop being embarassed of what I am doing with my life. When people ask me about accomplishments, I need to make a point not to feel like I should hide it or cover it up. What is wrong with me? God.

In general, I'm frustrated. But it could just be the lack of sleep.

how do you measure a year in the life?

I have been reflecting today on the last year. By all means, I consider it a successful year. I'm happy, I'm surrounded by people I love, and great things are ahead of me. I think that sometimes I get hung up on the fact that I didn't date anyone this year, but then I remember that I am actually surrounded by love every single day, and it's okay.

Here are my resolutions for 2009:

1. Take off that extra fifteen pounds that I hate about myself. NO, I do not aspire to be a size two, and I don't want to lose an extreme amount of weight - but there's no denying that I've gained some since I started college and stopped dancing, and it DOES make me feel self-consious. So I'm going to start working out WAY more regularly, and trying not to snack as much as I usually do.

2. Be more patient. Lately, I've noticed that I've become very impatient with everyone around me, and I don't know what's going on with that! I'm going to try to be more considerate of other people and less impatient with them.

3. RELAX. Now this seems like a silly resolution if you don' treally know me, but I feel that it is VERY extremely relevant that I need to learn to take a breather each day!

4. Be a cleaner person in the apartment. I don't understand why I'm so messy at school because I'm so clean at home! Explain this conundrum. I resolve to fix it.

5. Be more open to the idea of dating. I know I whine a lot about dating - but let's be real. I have been so shut off to opening myself up to someone that it screws everything up! This resolution also includes attempting to look pretty on a day to day basis, instead of throwing on sweatpants and a tanktop and putting my hair in a hat.

6. Visit my friends in BC and CH more often! (Read: Go see India and Brittain more!)

Well that's it. I hope that 2009 will be as good to me as 2008.

"I've got a sneaking suspicion, love actually is all around."

<3

just a look back at 2008, not in any particular order.