cleanliness.

There is something very therapeutic about cleaning things. I used to find it incredibly frustrating, unproductive, and annoying. But as I've grown older, I have found some wonderful comfort in the idea of taking something that was dirty, old, and unorganized and making it clean, smooth, smell nice, and easy to use.

I'm kind of on a cleaning binge. I wish I was at home so I could reorganize my apartment.

I think the reason I like it so much is because it makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something, fixing something. In life, there are so many things that we cannot fix: we cannot fix our relationships, our families, our monetary situations, anything really.

But we can totally take a dirty room, makeup box, purse, car, etc.. and make it smell like air freshener.
There's something bizarrely perfect in that thought to me.
(RANDOM THOUGHTS. 1)

aesthetically speaking.

Happy Summertime! Being away from Columbus has given me a lot of time to reflect on my life. It's given me time to (attempt) to relax, and to just sort of reboot myself. I feel so refreshed and so much happier. Spending time with my family, going to the beautiful and quaint parts of Eastern North Carolina, eating good food... it's all very lovely.

so this is a blog about a few of my current aesthetics... things I like!

I really want a ROMPER. They just look so comfy... and I love the victorian funky vibe of this outfit!

aesthetically speaking. by breakfastatrobins featuring Steve Madden shoes

My Summertime Playlist! It includes artists such as:

• Guster
• Ke$ha
• Rilo Kiley
• Lady GaGa
• Cobra Starship
• Hall & Oates
• The cast of GLEE
• Lilly Allen
• etc...

I love...

Natural locally brewed beers. Family times. The Fresh Market. Sushi. Sushi. Sushi. Watching Weeds on Netflix. The beach. Riding with the top down in the Mustang. My netbook - small, compact, and so powerful and cute! wearing sundresses. big sunglasses. my new fedora. text messaging. reading plays and loving them (THE CLEAN HOUSE). looking forward to new haircuts. pellegrino. collecting seashells. devouring books. sleeping late. my dog, Crystal. having skype so I can talk to Melissa. knowing that life is going to work out the way it is supposed to.

As a half-year resolution, I resolve to be funny, fun-loving, and happy again.
Life is good.

twilight zone girl.

With the summer, comes a few things: the loss of Caleb (sigh. He's in Atlanta but it just seems silly to have something going on when we're separated), the ability to sleep in, the idea of laying poolside, the prospect of a summer job, the visiting of the parentals, and apparently... insanity.

As Janine has dubbed it, the Single Girl Summer has begun. So many bizarre things have happened in just the past week. So much to the point of me feeling like I have stepped into an episode of the Twilight Zone. No lie.

On the plus side though, I have new roommates! I love it! =) I can't wait for Melissa to get back... and I can't wait to see just WHAT this summer holds for me! It's gotta be interesting if it started out this way...

We shall see! Bring on the sandals and the sunblock! Summer is HERE!

letting go.

Caleb is moving from Columbus to Atlanta. We aren't specifically a couple, but I care a great deal about him and I believe we would be classified as more than friends. I'm sad. I just left him for the last "we both live in Columbus and it would make logical sense for us to even attempt at this" hang out session. We had sushi, went to the bookstore, and went on an adventure to Lakebottom Park. It was a lovely evening, but in the end we sort of decided to let it stay open ended. Clearly we can still visit each other (more me visiting him since he doesn't have a car...) Nothing really CHANGED persay. I just am realizing that God plays funny jokes on people. He makes things happen at inconvenient times.

However, I am just grateful for the time I had. I am missing him and all my other graduated friends already. Why must I befriend people a year older than me?!

Summer begins. I'm headed to Texas for my grandfather's funeral on Thursday, and then to North Carolina. Then back to Columbus to work. Then who knows?

on being inbetween.

Life is weird. I really think God says, "Hey. I've made you miserable for two years, let me just throw you a couple of curve balls to check your balance now that you're generally happy!" But if it's a test, I feel like I may be passing. Maybe not making straight A's, but I'm generally trying to make the right decisions lately, even saying the phrase "I'm trying this thing where I am a good person." HAH.

At either rate, my romantic life is a giant clusterfuck. The one person I really care for is leaving town, for one. The other information I actually think is too scandalous to post in a public forum. At either rate, I find it infinitely frustrating.

My grandfather passed away yesterday. It's weird, because the last period of mourning I went through was for a friend who all of the people in Columbus adored, so I was most definitely not alone in my grief. But right now I feel so terribly and utterly alone in this situation. I'm not leaving Columbus until Thursday, but I really wish I was at this point just so I could have the time to myself to really deal with things. It's not as though I was that close to him, don't get me wrong, but family is family. And I will miss him.

On a much happier note, it's officially the summertime. Which means summer job, making money, spending time by the poolside, visiting home, etc. I am happy about all that.

I'm just in a weird state of inbetween.