MY LIFE IS BIZARRE (3)

My Life is Bizarre: Episode 3

So James arrives in the computer lab today where I am working on my directing analysis. After a few minutes, he decides to hijack my computer and update my facebook status to say: "is a loser". I think nothing of it until later when I receive a text from my mom that says, "are you okay?" to which I reply "yeah. why wouldn't I be?" and she says "your facebook status says you're a loser." So I call her and tell her why it says that, and she proceeds to tell me that because they both have facebooks now and saw it, she and my father were worried about me.

My life is so bizarre.

the spectrum's a to z.

my life is good. I feel like I'm walking around in this little bubble that no one really gets (not even me). things are going well. I feel happier than I have in a long time.

and I guess from the outside, my world looks pretty much the same.
but trust me, it's a lot better.

MY LIFE IS BIZARRE (2)

MY LIFE IS BIZARRE: Episode 2

So I am sitting around listening to Taking Back Sunday when there is a knock at the door. Once again, it is two young guys selling magazines for charity. Of course, I discourage them (having learned my lesson from the last time) and tell them that I'd rather not. I insinuate that I have a boyfriend, and I let them go. As soon as I close the door, the paper thin walls of my apartment building allow me to hear one resounding statement from the salesboy's mouth: "DUDE! She was so hot!"

Janine and I proceed to die with laughter.

the end.

MY LIFE IS BIZZARE (1)/A Quick Update

(episode one)

Last night, my roommate's boyfriend, Josh, came into my room wrapped in her quilt. He proceeded to eerily stand in my doorway like a zombie. A few moments later, my roommate tried to drag him away by the quilt, which revealed that he was in his underwear.

My life is bizarre.

----

My life is pretty good right. I love the new MIKA album (get it.)
I had a good day in acting yesterday.
I love Directing class.
Yeah, I like my life.

=) (even if it is bizarre. more episodes to come.)

questions.

it's really weird how awkward dancing and horrible singing from strangers (and, of course, wonderful singing from my wonderful friends) can make a perfectly sad night end perfectly happily.

karaoke at the sports page. how I have missed you lately.

here is your dose of sad Robin poetry for the day. Don't judge me. I was in a bad mood earlier.
---
"questions" (or, a letter to god.)

I have about fifteen hundred questions to ask you.
like
are you really there?
were you watching me cry then too?
and how hard is too hard?
and how much is too much?
and when the night will finally end?
and why the sky is blue -
but I just keep hearing my own voice echoing.
(and are you really there?)

I spend my hours recounting tales from when I was so very young.
unique and special
different and creative
my parents were so proud.
(were you watching me cry then too?)

I feel stupid when I cry.
(and how hard is too hard?)

and nights when I lay in his arms
shaking from something I can't put my finger on -
fear, anger, disgust, (love?)
I forget about you.
(how much is too much?)

but nights when I'm all alone
and no other mice crawl on my walls
I hear your whispering
just so quiet that I can barely hear -
(when will the night finally end?)

so I keep walking down the streets
the hot air sticking to my skin through my clothes
and the freedom of summer fading slowly
the faces of buildings, signs, people
all begin to fade into one gigantic mass of gray
and I wonder to myself quietly
(why the sky is blue?)

answers?

----

GTC invades. I'm tired.
Sometimes I let that get to me.
I love you.

if only in my dreams.

I want it to be Christmas more than anything.

I think it's because Christmas is my favorite time of year. Haha, actually I know that's why. I just love the whole season. I love the food. I love eating turkey and dressing and apple pies and I love going to Cracker Barrel and seeing the sparkly Christmas trees at the mall. I love twinkle lights and I love parties with pretty jazz music playing in the background. I love Secret Santa and I love Christmas specials on television (my favorite is of course the Charlie Brown Christmas =)) I love old Bing Crosby movies and baking eight million different confectionary treats. I love Christmas carrolling. I love Christmas date night with Chase. I love midnight mass. I love the way it feels when you wake up with your family and you just KNOW that it's Christmas. I love Christmas. In general.

I just need for it to be Christmas, and soon.
But I guess I'll get through the Halloween party season before I start preemtively celebrating before I get stressed for finals.

=)

the new underground.

(title totally is just the name of the song stuck in my head... really has nothing to do with this blog.)

So life is excellent. The other day, a friend asked me how I was doing, and due to the fact that I've been reading way too much Wendy Wasserstein lately, I responded with "scholastically fulfilled, emotionally numb." To which they responded with, "what's wrong?" and I eventually had to explain that feeling numb and emotionless was pretty much all I could do at the moment, due to the fact that I am SO INTO MY DIRECTING CLASS RIGHT NOW. Okay, I know its the first scene and it hasn't even gone up yet, but I'm a little obsessed with it. A) I made a perfect score on my first ever directing analysis. B) I actually in a strange way LIKED doing the directing analysis... which turned out to be 27 pages long. Geez!! C) I really enjoy rehearsing the scene, and I think I'm doing a decent job of communicating with my actors. D) I'm genuinely EXCITED to put it up in front of the class. Nervous/excited, but excited nonetheless.

At first I thought I was being totally weird for finding such fulfillment from something like SCHOOL... but then I realized - isn't that supposed to be what I'm doing here? Am I not supposed to be taking the classes I actually want to take and learning things I want to learn?

Not that I don't love all my other theatre classes, but I'm just weirdly obsessed with directing at this moment.

Other things that are good in my life:

My friends are wonderful. I realized that even the ones that things have been rocky with during this year have led me to a place where I can be pretty happy.

I'm pretty comfortably single right now. I'm not all desperate and weepy and that's nice.

Halloween is coming up and I'm pretty excited. =)

Okay, I got burnt out on writing this blog, but life is good. I'm genuinely happy, and I'm grateful for that.