I'm sitting here in my room getting ready to head out to my first callbacks as a big kid director, and I've opened the blinds and the sun is shining in through my window. I put on a floral scarf today, re-cut my bangs yesterday, and I'm just feeling generally very content with my life. Why?
Because I decided to be. Lately I've been doing a lot of praying, meditating, spending time with God and I feel like it has really helped me to accept and love the life I'm living right now. I'm so grateful for the friends that I have, I'm so grateful for the love and light that I have in my heart. I'm so very grateful for my family who have supported me even though I made the choice to enter a field that has so much unemployment. I am very grateful to be living HERE in Columbus on THIS DAY where I can go watch my talented friends act for me, where I can eat thin mints (though I am feeling a little guilty about that... my hips don't need them!) and make up my own recipes for tasty ways to drink my coffee in the morning. I'm grateful for the people who are here to help keep me organized.
I have felt this way since I've been in college but I really want to put this in words: I'm really happy that I live in a place that accepts me for who I am. Maybe it is the weird warp-time bubble of not being a kid and not being an adult, but being surrounded by other people who just want to truly be themselves has helped me grow into a person who wants to be just herself and not one who just wants to be what's popular or what other people conceive to be pretty. I truly feel like I CAN put on whatever I want (let's face it, I wear some strange things sometimes...) or say what I want or act like an idiot or dance on a street corner and actually feel free for once. How incredible is that?
Basically, I am just so lucky to have the life I do. And from now on, I promise to do these things: take a moment to be grateful for the life I have, don't settle for anything just because it seems like what society wants from me, enjoy the moment while I can (it only comes once), play games with my friends, connect more with my sister (because I love her.), stop worrying about how fat I think I am, laugh more, read more books. <3
the race is long - and in the end, it's only with yourself.
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