growth.

I guess it's safe to say that I've been angry for a year.

Not in this dibilitating way that consumed me.

Not in a way that anyone would really see.

But I've been angry. I'd like to say that I've been angry at him for making me love him. I'd like to say that I was angry at him for showing me who I could be and then taking it all away. I'd like to say I was angry at him for lying to me, for hurting me.

But really, I'm not. I'm mad at myself for not learning from it. I can't be mad at him. He made me actually FEEL something. And even though I've been feeling it for a year - and maybe it was only a good feeling once - but I wish I could feel everything like that last moment.

I wish I could just feel everything openly and honestly and without hesitation. I wish I would have always loved and suffered and laughed and cried as freely as I do now before him. I wish that my current hesitations would disappear like that day on the dock.

Maybe I'm getting over it.

I saw someone who looked just like Logan used to look sitting outside Fountain City the other day. I stopped dead in my tracks, and honestly, I didn't know what to do at all.

And the more I try to get over it - the more I do. The more I think he broke me, the more I realize that it's more beautiful to put myself back together again than it was to never be broken at all.

Maybe I'm crazy for taking a year to get over it.

Really, all is well. This is just some introspection to the way I feel about a single situation in my life. Things are going pretty great, if I do say so myself.