so much better.

I don't deserve to be treated like shit.

I know this is a chant that everyone recites to themselves when they're allowing themselves to be treated like shit. I KNOW THAT.

But really, genuinely. I deserve better. I came to this conclusion earlier when I went over to see my sister. She literally sat on her bed and told me that she OFTEN thinks about how much she hates how much shit happens to me with men (or something of that nature) and cried about it.

I couldn't handle it. It's like, hearing it from someone else made me feel like it wasn't a self-absorbed complaint. It wasn't just me blowing problems out of perspective and imagining that I am somehow not at fault. I really don't deserve half the shit I get.

I am a nice, pretty, genuinely sweet and caring person. Most of the people who don't like me don't like me for petty and professional reasons (and i don't mean to sound pretentious, but seriously? jealousy is no reason to give up a friendship. ever. you were probably never really friends with that person to begin with and it's probably good you're not a part of their lives anymore.)

And I think I just need someone to tell me to stop letting people shit on me before I realized that they were even doing it. Seriously?

I don't fucking deserve this. And anyone who treats me like that is just a big fucking pimple on the face of my awesome life. (thank you Laura.)

And I'm seriously ready to take some risks because in the end? I deserve better. I will have better.

And not in a cheesy- cliche- chick lit way.
In a real way.