win some or learn some.

but I won't hesitate no more (no more) - it cannot wait.
I'm yours.

So upon further inspection of the way my life has been going as of late along with my recent thoughts of becoming happier on my own, I've reached several conclusions -

do the things that make you happy. spend time with people who treat you well. don't linger on the bad memories. if you can't fix a problem, just let it go.

They seem like such silly thoughts - they're so obvious! but honestly, until lately I'd been leading my life solely for those around me, and while it seems selfish to lead my life specifically for myself, I don't feel like I'm being any worse of a person, if anything I feel like I'm being more honest with the people who are around me. Let me elaborate on each of these:

one.) do the things that make you happy. this is a big thing for me - I let people talk me into doing things that I don't necessarily really want to do all the time. I'm not talking about doing drugs or breaking the law, but I have spent money I didn't really need or want to spend millions of times before. I think that starting to say "no" is going to be hard for me, but I think in the long run, spending more time doing things that I really actually want to (and can afford to) do will help me find some personal happiness.

two.) spend time with people who treat you well. the biggest, most important of these. I have had friends treat me like crap. Probably because of my inability to say no - but it's time I started standing up for myself. I apologize constantly, and I'm always the one to say I'm sorry, even when I still think I'm right. So now that I have stopped doing that, it's hard because people are upset with me - but when they have no right to be upset, there's nothing I can do about it but lie to them. I plan on being honest from now on. If I'm not sorry, I'm not saying so. If you're treating me like crap, I'm going to stop calling you. End of story.

three.) don't linger on the bad memories. if you were friends with someone, obviously one infraction of friendship should not destroy the entire relationship. remember the good things - I know it's harder, but in the end, everyone goes to bed every night alone and everyone has their own dreams. no one is truly evil, however much we may want to remember a friendship turned sour as something we never truly cherished, I always try to think of that person laying in bed at night, dreaming their dreams and hoping for a better day the next. Just, remember the good things. It will help, I promise.

four.) if you can't fix a problem, let it go. the hardest for me, stop apologizing when you don't mean it. if what you are doing is making you happy, if what you are doing is the right thing to you, don't apologize for it. not everyone is going to be happy with you all the time. that's impossible. you have to decide - what's best for me? and if it makes someone else around you angry with you, you have to trust that if they truly love you, they'll let it go, and so should you.

So those are my "deep" thoughts for the week. I truly love quotations, so here are some words to live by:

"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost."
-H. Jackson Browne