be calm. be brave. it'll be okay.

there are a few things about life that I find infinitely frustrating and infinitely amazing all at the same time -

the first one is change. and it kind of goes with everything that's going on. you change. your style changes. your hair grows, you get taller, bigger, smaller, whatever. people around you change. your taste in music changes. sometimes I feel like I wish I had put the freeze button on last semester around late march - and honestly, I think if I could have, I would have. I would have remained forever in that state that I was in because I was so effing happy that I don't think I'll ever hit that point of elation again. But then, there were also bad things in my life that are actually, in fact, better now. I'm not sure, sometimes I wish I could just stop time for a second and figure things out. relationships change. you realize who you are and what you want and I'm not really sure that I am in the place I want to be now, but I'm scared of hurting people in the process of becoming who I want to be. That was my food for thought of the day, I suppose. Don't read too much into it, you'll probably guess wrong.

I never realized how NOT over the whole Logan situation I was until this summer. Every angry poem I write is about him, every time I think about liking a guy, I'm reminded of the shit he used to say to me that at the time I saw NOTHING WRONG WITH. Somehow I'm mindboggled at how I let him treat me so crappy. Sometimes I'm not. I'm not sure. But I never realized how much it actually affected the way I view myself in relationships. I guess I thought I was over it for a long time, and I tried to distract myself repetitively until I realized I wasn't. And honestly - I'm still dealing with fallout from it. One thing - I'm pretty sure I'll never be the same as I used to be.

I kind of miss that old Robin though. She's been gone for a long time, these days.

I guess it's weird. I'm going through all these strange emotional things lately. I've never dealt with so many emotions at once - probably because during high school I basically didn't give myself time to feel so many emotions. And then last year everything was so new it was hard to ever be too upset. Things change - yeah. I'm not UNhappy. I'm not totally happy either. I'm happy. ish?

There are so many things I wish I could say lately.
Bladebla.