I don't know what to wear.

I really hate when this happens. I put on five thousand different outfits in some pathetic effort to figure out what to wear. I do have what I want to wear out later tonight planned, but my mom announced this morning that she wants to take pictures of me and my sisters and she wants us to look cute. translation: please Robin, don't wear a strange hippy headband.

I'm only vaguely ready for the coming semester, but I think emotionally I'm ready to start doing things again.

We just got back last night from house hunting in Greenville. It's an okay town, and while I feel a little unhappy about the move still, I'm starting to deal with it. My parents will be happy there. And I won't mind visiting so much. At least it's not the middle of nowhere, hah. There's a good outlet mall nearby and a nice movie theatre.

Sort of half-way looking for houses in Columbus helps me not to feel like crap about no longer having a permanent home. A home just needs our love!

I finally picked an outfit, btw.

Well tonight is New Years, and I've made a few resolutions: watch my weight. excercize. go over to BC and CH more often and socialize (especially with India! I missed her this semester.), drink less soda and more juice and water. be a little more high maitenence! that sounds bad but I mean I should probably shave my legs at least every other day and take care of my eyebrows more often.

I mean, I never follow all of them, but hopefully I do well. Hookah tonight and then hanging out with friends counting down the hours left of 2008.

Music discovery of the day: Eric Hutchinson. Why had I not found him before? This music makes me smile.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ-RkipwalU

comfort and joy. <3

What is it about Christmas that I love so much? I guess it used to be the gifts, when I was a kid. Though a part of me would love to believe that it was more of the anticipation and the air of magic that I was drawn to. At either rate, Christmas has always been my absolute favorite day of the year.

Perhaps it's the undivided attention of my family. The complete idea that one does not even have to leave the house and is forced to undergo togetherness, and yet somehow we rarely fight on the actual day.

Maybe it's the food. It would be remiss of me not to mention that Christmas dinner is actually my favorite meal of the year. Whether it be roast beef with yorkshire pudding or turkey and dressing, I feel like it's basically impossible not to gorge myself, because the food is so ridiculously good.

Of course, perhaps, it could be the season leading up to Christmas - I do rather enjoy the carolling and the cookies and the trees and lights. It kind of makes the world seem like one big gingerbread house or just a magical world of niceness.

Maybe it's the parties? I love Christmas parties. Sharing food and talking and listening to happy frappy music that doesn't have anything to do with money/sex/etc and having times of merriment with my friends.

I really think what I like most about Christmas though, is the general feeling of togetherness it gives people. I know that not everyone in the world celebrates Christmas, that would be shallow of me to think that, but for those of us who do, Christian or not, the sense of giving and "peace on earth" and city sidewalks busy sidewalks dressed in holiday style... uh! I love Christmas.

So Happy Christmas, Everyone! Hopefully all those feelings that overtake me for about a month a year overtake you. And hopefully, I can make part of them last for the rest of the year.

Too bad it always has to end so abruptly, but great things are to come.

I'll be home for Christmas.

Fun and Funky Christmas! by breakfastatrobins

polyvore is a fun way to express yourself =]

so I'm at home, and things are pretty great, actually. so far, I've only gotten A's back on my grades, but that discludes the grade from my psychotic comm professor, so I'm not really sure if that one will be as good as I want it to be =[

I spent yesterday out with Anna, buying Christmas gifts, and thank goodness, I'm already almost done with all of my Christmas shopping. I'm super glad to get that over with too, because I usually get really stressed about Christmas shopping because I like to give NICE gifts instead of just any random Christmas knick-knack.

Also, we had dinner at Myabi's (DELICIOUS) with all the kids from AP when I was in high school. It was great - fun to see people I haven't seen in forever, but kind of bitter sweet because I know I won't be able to attend next year's Christmas dinner =[

Basically, I am so grateful for this break. It's rather like the calm before the storm, though.

It finally really feels like Christmas, did I mention that?

I miss you, though.

the road goes on.

So life has been good to me, I can't lie. I had a four day weekend, for all practical purposes. I have great friends, we had a wonderful time in Atlanta at the club (sans Omar, who was too drunk and wasn't allowed back into the club!) and it's almost Christmas, my absolute favorite time of the year.

However, things have been weighing me down. Of course. Who am I if I could be totally happy with life? Of course, actually getting through finals week is one of them. I just want this semester to be complete and over! I want to move on from the stress. I want to keep going! Then there's money. Then there's guys. My parents moving. General discontentness. Body image on probably the lowest it's been in awhile.

I always thought I wanted to grow up and move so far away from Augusta. I always thought I'd leave and never look back except to see my parents. Boy, I was wrong. The days slip by so quickly and I have no idea when I'll actually deal with the idea of never being able to go back through that red door that leads to my falling apart but full of wonderful memories and laughter house. Not being able to hang out on my backporch. A really good friend called me today, and I realized that I never see him unless I'm home. I guess losing just the house isn't the only problem, after all.

I guess I really didn't want to grow up, after all.

in order to be irreplaceable...

...one must always be different.

-Coco Chanel.

So I'm officially no longer a teenager. In retrospect, they were pretty good years. I mean, middle school could have been better, but high school did me good and I absolutely adore the college aspect of life, so yeah.

I feel like these are the years that have helped me on that ever-present quest to figure out who I am. I mean, we all go through it, so I'm sure you know what quest I mean. Good things, bad things, I feel like I've finally figured out that my bizzare personality really isn't that bad and that I can just be myself. I don't know, I don't want to wax sentimental but I feel like everytime I meet a new friend I find myself more and more comfortable with who I am. It's nice, I suppose. But like I said, I'm glad that I'm not that crazy perfectionist smart kid I was when I was twelve and now I'm who I always wanted to be - artsy and weird, still smart, but I don't freak out everytime something isn't necessarily perfect. It's weird to think how far I've come in the past seven years, really. But I guess that's just growing up.

My birthday was great, and I want to thank everyone who made it so awesome. I just want to say - I feel like I should just stop drinking full stop because I behave absolutely atrociously when I'm sloshed. Not only that - I'm also such a lush. How is it possible that I get drunk off of Reisling more often than I do from vodka or rum? At either rate - I had an awesome time yesterday ushering in the start of my twenty-something years.

Another semester is coming to a close and I'm surprisingly not at all that stressed. Usually I am near the edge of a nervous breakdown by this point. Maybe it's just the classes that I selected for this semester - but I can't say I'm not grateful.

On the other side of that pillow, next semester seems to be shaping out to be an already stressful one. I am grateful to myself for not loading up on crazy classes. My freestage got approved! I am tres excited about this - mostly because choreography is slowly making its way up to being my first love. I guess it's pretty much equal with theatre, but you know ;] I feel like this is a great combination of both and I'm really excited about it. Although it is going to add extra stress to my life, I think I'm more excited about it than anything. Also I'm doing Belly of the Whale (yay) and Machinal (double yay!) so I'm pretty booked up for the next few months after Christmastime.

Speaking of Christmastime - I'm pretty excited about it. Mostly I just want to ignore the fact that I even own a planner and spend time with my family, my dog, my Augusta friends, and just freaking RELAX for once. I don't feel like I have a lot of drama at home anymore, and I want to spend Christmas with people who I love. I'm excited about my third (and final) Christmas party and the ability to dress up and enjoy my friends' company.

Basically this is what I have left to do until I can enjoy all of that: go to class. theatre history paper. acting response. (keep going to class). theatre dance final (easy schmeasy for those of us with dance experiene!). (more class). study for theatre history final. show up to pilates and acting finals. Seriously - please note, most of that is just SHOW UP. My life is bizarro-world.

I love you guys, seriously.

yay.

so I'm twenty now.
more info to come later.

what what.

and I'm like her fairy godmother... only slutty.

So it's set in. Th evil, the worst, the most horrible part of the semester - the pre-finals stresscapades.

I, as per usual around this time of the semester, have had a nervous breakdown tonight. I just feel like I really need to have a break. I want to be frivilous and free and spend money (that I of course don't have) and I want to have a meaningless fling and not look at my planner for a month... haha, Christmas needs to hurry! I just need some time to sleep (more than just thanksgiving!) and I need to re-evaluate how I feel about life.

This stress I believe is mainly coming from my parents moving. I'm not sure why, but it just spreads over my whole life and I'm starting to feel like I'm losing my place everywhere, as well as my actual physical home. I really want to move out of housing because I really want a place to just call home and have some permanency that doesn't rely on the school year being in session, you know? I mean, while I'd love to be able to dedicate myself to my parents move, but it's hard because I only live with them part of the year.

Luckily this summer I'll be in Germany, but I'm just not sure how I feel about it.

I hate that I bitch so much, so let me update about the good things in my life.

I heard some news from my mom today that makes me estatic. So I know it sounds like a spoiled child thing, but apparently my parents are thinking of getting me a new car (shhh it's a secret, apparently) so I'm stoked! Mostly because my car, which I adore and love, the Professor is a sad heap of metal in the parking garage that usually breaks down.

I'm so very happy about next semester too. I'm happy about being in Belly of the Whale. I'm happy about Machinal. I'm stoked for my classes. I think I've finally figured out my calling. I am excited to start working on stuff for dance extravaganza. I am excited for the future for the first time in awhile. I've always been passionate, but I guess the "torn" between two loves thing is what was getting to me about it. However, the idea of combining my loves is such a wonderful thing that I'm stoked about that again.

I've been feeling pretty lately. My hair looks good. My clothes are all clean. Christmastime is here, and I have some crazy lightbulb earrings that Janine got me that only further transform me into what I really am... Miss Frizzle....

Haha. I feel better after blogging. Love.