Wednesday, January 21, 2009

so just be gentle with me.

so just be gentle with me
(I'm not as young as I was)
and I'll be gentle with you
(I'm not as brave as I thought)
because my heart gets broken so easily,
so just be gentle, be gentle, be gentle, be gentle with me.

life is weird. quirky, strange, unfathomable, eternally unpredictable, and pretty much just weird.

or maybe, that's just my life. I feel like every day it gets stranger and stranger, but I'm pretty happy, all in all.

I think that coming to terms with who I am, physically, emotionally, just by myself is really helping me be happy. I'm trying so hard not to please everyone, but to please myself. I know that sounds selfish, but I think it's the only way that I can finally be happier than I've been in the past. I can't stretch myself so thin that I fall apart again - I absolutely refuse!

In other news, I love choreography. I think my sense of fulfillment is outpouring into the rest of my life, and people seem to be more attracted to fulfilled and happy Robin than they did to stretched-too-thin, pleasing the rest of the world Robin. Hm - what a conclusion!

Another thought - I want a boyfriend. I KNOW. It's like this - I am strong, I know I'm a great person on my own. And I know that if I set my mind to anything in the world, I could probably acheive it BY MYSELF but I can't ignore the whiney inner me that is desperate for some male attention. I wish I could squash this pathetic inner self so that I could just move on with my life without the ache for something "more". Sometimes I think I've been missing out on something because I rarely am able to convince myself that dating is something that fits in with my lifestyle - but I'm starting to think I need to reevaluate the way I feel about it. LE SIGH. At least, I can say, life is weird. Maybe things will start to look up in this category.

Other thoughts to think on - it's been really effing cold outside for the past few days! WHY! I feel like if it would just SNOW or even ICE over, I would be more able to accept the cold as a fact of life, but since it's just illogically freezing, I'm not really sure how I feel about the whole concept, to be honest!

I just wish Georgia would make its mind up about the weather.

Classes are going well, I think. Not any worse than ever before, at least. And no real tragedies have happened thus far this semester, so I think I can count it as a success.

Basically, that's my life right now. Hey - I never said it was interesting.

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