it's really bursting at the seams
absorbing everything.
the spectrum's a to z.
So I have a few minutes of respite - after the cast party last night, my head is still a little swimmy and I'm still a little sleepy. [= But I was genuinely happy and I generally had a great time. I forget sometimes how much I like being who I am and having the friends I have (even when they're hella awkward, or if I am). I think sometimes we all get caught up in sex and love and forget how important other relationships, like friendships, are. In general, while I was VERY very drunk, I had a great time.
Also, we found out about next year's musical finally! And let me just tell you, while Janine and I may be the only ones, I am fucking pumped! It's CRAZY FOR YOU. Which is one of my absolute favorite musicals. So I am pretty excited, in general about that. Largely because I'm obsessed with it though. [=
I have to admit that things have been looking up lately. I've been eating tons healthier, working out, drinking a lot of water, and I am actually starting to feel okay about my body. Also, I'm pretty much over what happened with Brian and subsequently the nonsense of my behavior directly after what happened with Brian. Every now and then I get a pang of "what if", but usually I'm on an even keel of accepting that it just wasn't meant to be, because if it was, it would be.
After Machinal closes, I'll just be going to class and working on one acts (also, dance extravaganza, but it's pretty far back in my mind right now, honestly). Which is an incredible break from the zombie-like schedule I've been operating on for the past month. Hopefully with all that time I'll have a refreshed point of view and I'll be able to relax a little bit.
I feel like sometimes I relate a little too much to Helen Jones. Not in a creepy "I'll kill you" way, but definitely in the "I just want to rest" and feeling the weight around me way.
I don't understand you.
I miss you.
I love you.
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