Monday, April 6, 2009

on today's perspective.

so I was sitting in rehearsal today, DYING of laughter (because the cast, director, and stage managers of Riverside Drive are freaking awesome!) and I realized something -

most of my joy (and I mean real joy) for life comes from my work. Artistic/Theatrical acheivement (whatever you want to term it) brings me so much zest for what I want out of life. Being around people who feel the same way settles in on me and I feel more at peace with life.

I am FINE alone. In fact, it's better this way. The only people who I think would understand the life I want to lead would be people IN the theatre or arts. And right now, there just isn't anyone around me in the theatre or arts community who I want to be with romantically. And that's that. Maybe that will change one day, but I don't forsee it happening. Sometimes I feel like my friends aren't that great of friends to me. And I don't mean that about my closest circle, obviously. But I realize that people act with other motives in life and that they don't think about what's really good in the long run because they let the forced idea of falling in love get in their way. Let's be real - if it's too hard to be with someone, if it causes a scandal, if you don't want to shout it from the rooftops, it's probably not love.

And I'm not saying only focus on your dreams - no! Love really is all you need - but not necessarily romantic love, do you get me? There is the love I have for my family, my best friends, for my work. For everything. Love is all around, you just have to find it.

From here on out - I vow to stay focused on the goal. To not let other people's shadiness or mistreatment of me bring me down. I promise to love my friends and my art with all of my heart and not look to misplace it romantically on a man who does not deserve it. I will look to Elle! I will be so much better! (now I'm just being silly!) But really - There is more to life than falling in love.

And when I look around - I see that.

when I look back at that ordinary, ordinary life - I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time.

No comments: