But tomorrow will be better. and the next day and the next.
I never really cope with death the way that other people do - I have a hard time crying in front of people, but never a hard time crying alone. I went to both group gatherings for Rea. I wanted to say something at each but couldn't remember a specific memory that I wanted to share. I know I wasn't as close to him as others were, but I can't get the sound of him mock kissing me in my ear at every party out of my head. I loved that. He was, to me, just glorious.
And I know he's in heaven, I know it in my heart.
I don't want to be cliche. But you know something? Even though I usually hate the way people talk after someone has passed on - they gloss over everything bad about them and suddenly praise everything about them. But at both of those group sessions, I think what was incredible was that I knew no one was lying about him.
Yeah, he was wonderful. And even though we weren't best friends, I think it's safe to say he affected me when I was in his presence. I'll miss it. <3
--
Other things are hard too. But I am looking forward to the future - to moving into my new apartment, to going to Germany, to continuing my adventure of life. Partying when I want to party - loving who I want to love.
I'm sort of glossing over the details of my life right now because I'm not sure how to put into words how I feel.
Tomorrow will be better. and the next day. and the next. <3
my twitch is kind of out of control.
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