they love to tell you: "stay inside the lines."

I am so different than I was six or seven months ago. Or even a month ago.

I totally evaded a huge "drama" festival by being reasonable with my friends a few weeks ago. I simply told them that I was hurt by their lying to me, that it would take a little time to heal up, but in the end I would love them the same. I also told them that they were just trying to be mad at each other because that's how they thought they should feel. And they realized I was right. I haven't solved a problem like that in a long time - well, not without actually going home and crying about it.

I welcome back the peaceful, zen version of myself. She's been gone for over a year now. I missed her.

Here's the thing: I feel like people take advantage of how nice I am sometimes. They think they can be mean to me or be mad at me for literally no reason because they know that if they say they're sorry (or sometimes they don't even say they're sorry, they just pretend they weren't a jerk to begin with) that I'll take them back because I don't believe in holding grudges. I hate it. I hate that people think that because I will forgive them that they can treat me like shit. It's such a double edge sword. If I stop forgiving them, they it will stop them from treating me like crap, but it will also make me disgusted with myself. I really do believe that forgiveness is so important. I just wish I could avoid it completely - if people would just treat me nicely I would treat them back nicely and we would all be really happy together. 

But that's not the way the world works. Sigh.

In other news, I'm busy. Busy busy bee, that's me!

Here are some of the things going on in my life right now:

• ONE ACTS - are entering tech! we had dry tech today for Riverside Drive, and after this is over my stage managorial duties will be up! FINALLY. Not that I don't love Riverside, but I am just not cut out to be a stage manager, and everyone knows it. Hah! Also, my actor self is getting more excited about Porcelain.
• DANCE EXTRAVAGANZA - Woooohoooo! Basically I'm just excited because I love dancing. I'm dancing in several numbers and we've even inserted "1 2 3 4" from Situations to the show [= tres excitement!
• APARTMENT HUNTING - Well, we finally found a place that we feel we can settle on. It's a little further out than we would have liked, but they accept co-signers and it's not THAT far. Plus, it's everything we want in an apartment besides the immediate convenience. So if I was going to sacrifice any of these things: safety, convenience, my own room, affordability. I would pick convenience. Janine and I can carpool easily to our classes, and it is actually MORE convenient to things like Wal-Mart and non school related things. We're turning in the applications and fees on Monday morning first thing basically to secure our home! I'm happy about it. Hooray!
• MY NEW PHONE - has arrived. BEAUTIFUL. It's a Motorola Q and I absolutely adore it. Beyond words. [=

I will just be happy for the week between this semester and Maymester. I'll be going home to pick up some furniture and RELAX before moving into the apartment. And then anotehr show begins... and then Germany this summer! And then back to the grind in the fall. But you know what? I do love it. I may complain about being busy, and I may be dead tired and I may have the most confused sleeping schedule I'll ever have... but I absolutely adore my life. And I wouldn't trade one stressful minute of it for a business degree.

Love you guys, for real.

Peace.